WARNING: The following entry contains profane language.
I am currently two Jane Austen film adaptations into the embroidery on my Dungeons and Dragons skirt. It started with a need for more Alan Rickman (after Harry Potter two weeks ago), so I watched Sense and Sensibility while I beaded the giant d20. I enjoyed pretending to live in Regency England so much that I watched Pride and Prejudice next. The tinkling piano melodies and romantic entanglements of the landed gentry go exceedingly well with needlepoint crafts.
However, I do not think the living rooms of Barton Cottage or Longbourn Estate ever rang out with cries of “Fuck shit fuck me!” or “Fufufufu blerrrrr!” (when I was trying to control my use of profanities, for the cats’ sakes). The embroidery needle is fat and sharp, while the beading needle is impossibly thin and a million times sharper, giving me a wonderous variety of pokes and stabs throughout the day.
I have great respect for women who, in the past, had to complete all of their sewing by hand. It is tedious and time consuming, but I must admit, it is rewarding to look down and see a d20 emerge from what was once an ordinary dodecahedron.
(Mrs. Effin’ A)